if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
