she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
