Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
