Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
