I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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