They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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