"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
