I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
