1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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