Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
