Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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