Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
