i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
