Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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