The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize