I look better un-naked...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
