Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
