apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
