you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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