i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
