I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
