Who did Billy Mays play for?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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