its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
