Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize