How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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