Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm both gender and math confused
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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