I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
