problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
