I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
