If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
