the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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