It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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