if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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