I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
