Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
