I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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