I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
