whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
