We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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