operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
