yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
