I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize