i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
