Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
