even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
