Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
