Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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