Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm getting married
To pizza
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
