last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
