I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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