But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
