my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
