I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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