And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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