You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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