Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
