So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
