my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
