this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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