tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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