Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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