Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
