I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
