he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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