I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's blow job season.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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