Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
