I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
