About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
