Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
