That's intense
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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