Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
