Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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