I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
