all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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