Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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