If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
