Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
