I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
