all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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